Different isn't Bad Part 3

Last week I was in a conference in Limuru where we had one of my female collegues give one of the presentations. This lady has recently been engaged and is quiet excited about it. Her Fiance gave her a very precious ring in engaging her and she is so thrilled with it. So as she begun speaking to us (we were about 15 men and one lady in the room), she begun by showing off her engagement ring to us. To her surprise none of us were moved by the display except for the other lady in the room who went wow! My collegue immediately noticed that this was not the crowd to cheer and be awed by her treasure. In fact one of the men present put it so nicely in explaining the lack of interest in the men. He said that whereas the lady in the room connected with my collegue in rejoicing over the ring, the men in the room were wondering at how much the ring would have cost. Thus the difference between men and ladies.

As mentioned earlier, men and women are very different, as we saw earlier, God created them male and female. And that is not bad, just like in a great football team, not all the players are the same or have the same talents. Their different talents and giftings make them play well in a particular position and they together,each one playing where they are best at make a strong and formidable partnership that wins them trophies. It is good also to know our differences especially in marriage in order to avoid one of the "misses" that ruinns a marriage, and that is misunderstanding. For example, in times of crisis or conflict in the home, men tend to implode, they retreat into their caves and remain silent, nil by mouth they say. On the other hand, when ladies are stressed either by work or by the relationship, they explode. They talk more than usual, they want to let it out. Now it will be wrong for the lady to demand that the man talk because that's how she feels. The more she pushes for the man to talk, the more the man retreats into his cave of silence. A warning here for you ladies, don't follow your man into his cave, because if you do, you will be bitten by the dragon at the door of his cave. So give the man time to sort himself out. For most men the more the lady wants him to come out of his cave, the longer he stays in there. The way men can help their woman in such situations according to John Gray(author of men are from mars and women from venus), is to remember to communicate to her these four magic words -; "I will be back". And when you are done in your cave come out and talk to her. The worst punishment a man can punish his lady with is the silent treatment. For you ladies as you let it out, please don't make the man feel that its all his fault, that he has failed. Us men have a very big ego, and when we feel accused for what we have done or not done, we feel rejection. So four magic words with which you ladies can help your man with are "It's not your fault". Once you do that and encourage him, he will be there to listen to you as you let it out by talking. Remember for a man, listening is more like a task unlike for ladies to whom listening is another way of expressing love.