REAL LEADERSHIP

Many Leaders are often under a lot of immense pressure to be correct and to appear to be certain of everything that is happening. Even if they make a mistake, they hang on to their ways and refuse to admit that yes, they were wrong on this one. Some even speak with certainty of things to come even when they are not sure of it.

 I remember certain religious Leaders who in the past have ‘prophesied” that so and so will become the next President with such certainty that when it did not happen they lost a lot of credibility with their followers.  And even after realizing that their “prophecy” was wrong, they have refused to admit it but have rather looked for an excuse to try and explain why it didn’t happen the way they had predicted it would.

Someone has said that good leaders feel secure enough to repent when wrong. They don’t have to project their self-worth, defend their every move, or make excuses for their failures. What they don’t realize is that by admitting that, “yes, I did make a mistake”, will restore great confidence in them from their followers and thus regain trust with them. In fact contrary to our beliefs, people love and identify quickly with Leaders who are real, authentic people who can also make mistakes.

The other thing leaders often fail to understand is that people do not need a leader to have every answer. That is shocking for most Leaders who think that the Leader must know it all. What these Leaders don’t realize is that people are looking for genuine people to lead them. 

According to Leadership guru John C. Maxwell, “if you are not sure of something, of the future, don’t speak with certainty on an issue of which you are unsure.  Yet when you do speak, speak with clarity, even if your words paint only a small part of the whole picture”. Your people do not need certainty on every issue, but they do need clarity on every issue. It is clarity that helps organizations to progress he adds.

RUNNING YOUR RACE

I have just come back from the East Africa Students convention at the Braeburn school in Garden Estate. This is an annual event held for those schools in East Africa that are using the ACE program. I was amazed at the incredible talents displayed there by our young men and women. From Preaching to Poetry, from academics to athletics, from Science projects to soccer kick, from dance to drama, great gifts and talents were on show.

We had about 200 students participating in this event. I stood there amazed at the power of vision and what one can do if they allow themselves to not only possess a vision but let that vision possess them. And that is the story of Enock and Violet Muhol. This couple caught the vision of Christian education about 13 years ago. They went to South Africa to see how this could be done and came back in Kenya to start it with their then only son Emmanual. Violet then resigned her job as a Teacher in one of the most prestigious schools in this Country and begun using the ACE curriculm to homeschool their son Emmanuel. In 2001, a model School was started in Garden Estate using the ACE curriculum.

With the growing demand of the vision they had, Enock too a few years later had to resign his lucrative job with one of the leading sugar companies to give himself fully to this vision. There are now over 100 schools in East Africa using the ACE curricuum that has greatly changed Christian Education in the region. And all this is because of a couple who against all odds, ran with the vision that God had put in their hearts. They have run this race with faith and endurance. They have refused to give up even when that was the easiest thing to do. They have refused to give in to pressure but have continued to give out that which is in them.

This vision has grown and is still growing. This vision has transformed the lives of many, not just children but adults as well. As I sat there at Braeburn I begun to wonder. What if Enock and Violet didn't step out and follow what was burning in their hearts? What if they didn't take that bold step? What if they gave up along the way because of the various teething problems they faced not to mention accusations from naysayers?

GOING FOR GOLD

The Olympics is just round the corner and many athletes all over the world are busy preparing themselves for it. Many are aiming for Gold in the races they have qualified for. Their dream was first and foremost to qualify for the games, and next, their goal is to win a medal, preferably a gold medal.

We all like these Athletes have qualified for our "Olympics", the most important race, which is the race of our life. The fact that out of the 64 million sperms that began the race, one made it to fertilize the egg and that's how come you are here, tells a lot about you. You have qualified. You had very little to do with this part, it was by divine design and not your own making, and that's why you qualified.

The next thing you need to do is to win a medal. In order for you to do that you must first identify your race. According to our maker, "There is a race that is marked out before us" (Hebrews 12:1). If you are supposed to run in the 800 meters race with Rudisha, and you opt to run the 200 meters, it won't matter how fast you run. Even if you beat Blake and Bolt, you will not be given a medal because that is not the race you were meant to run. If you were to run the 200 meters and you leave your lane and get into someone else's, even if you win you will be disqualified because you entered another person's lane.

What I'm I saying, it is important for each of us to identify our race. My race is to bring healing and restoration to hurting and broken marriages. What is yours? What race are you running? Are you running your race or are you running another persons race? Your Father's race? Your Pastor's race?

ONE THING AT A TIME

The song writer wrote, 'One day at a time sweet Jesus, tomorrow may never be mine...' The song writer was right as far as worrying over our Tomorrows is concerned. But in being effective in life and in what you do, one must learn to concentrate on one thing at a time.

How important it is for us to learn to carry out one objective at a time? According to Dale Burke, in his book How to lead and still have a life, tells of a story told by Management guru Peter Drucker of one of the most accomplished time managers he ever met. This President of a large bank impressed Drucker with both his focus and efficiency. The President would meet with Drucker once a month for 90 minutes, but would always have only one item on the agenda. Drucker observed:

During the hour and a half I was in his office every month, there was never a telephone call, and his secretary never stuck her head in the door to announce that an important man wanted to see him urgently. One day I asked him about this. He said, "My secretary has strict instructions not to put anyone through except the President of the United States and my wife. The President rarely calls - and my wife knows better. Everything else the secretary holds till I have finished. Then I have half an hour in which I return every call and make sure I get every message. I have yet to come across a crisis which could not wait ninety minutes."

Dale Burke continues to say that the secret here is "one thing at a time." A single focus is critical to top performance in anything we do. Don't allow yourself to be distracted by the many things that come your way. Don't even sacrifice the urgent for the important.

HOW TO BE EFFECTIVE, NOT JUST EFFICIENT.

For many years I have had a "To-do list" that I have tried following though often times I have failed to do so. But I must confess that it has helped me a great deal in trying to organize myself. You, like me perhaps have a "To-do" list that helps you focus on what should be done but more importantly you need a "Stop-To-Do" list that will make you effective.

In order for you to be effective and not just efficient, there are certain things that steal your time that you need to stop doing in order to fully do what is in your "To- Do" list. Once you clearly understand your priorities, things that are important to you and it is only you who can do them like spending time with your family, the next step is learning how to say "NO". It is only a two letter word and yet one of the most difficult to speak.

Regaining margin and control in our lives will never happen unless we develop the ability to say "NO"-yes even to good things. Things we enjoy doing like spending time on Facebook for me. It is easy to say no to bad things, but it is hard to say no to things we enjoy doing. And some of these things are the things we need to put down in our "Stop-to-Do" lists. According to Jim Colins, author of 'Good to Great', we must have the discipline to say “No thank you” to big opportunities that do not fit within our priorities. A “once-in-a-lifetime opportunity” is irrelevant if it is the wrong opportunity.

Saying no is not an excuse for non involvement, laziness, or insensitivity. Instead, it is purely a mechanism for living by our priorities and preserving our vitality for the things that really matter. One Pastor told me that in his church, no is a holy word. So don't shy from saying no to the good that is trying to rob you of the great. Just say "NO", that is what a "Stop To Do" list is all about. And once you make your "Stop To Do"list, make sure you execute it ruthlessly.

Have an effective week.

THE ACTIVITY-REST CYCLE

Last year before resigning my position as a full-time Pastor with one of the Local Churches in Town, my greatest fear was what I would be doing with all my time.  My greatest fear then was that of being bored and exhausted with nothing to do. But six months after, now my wife and I are busy doing our own ministry apart from working part-time as Marriage and Family Pastors in another local church.

What I have come to realize, contrary to the fears I once had, working for yourself, especially when you are doing what you are passionate about, can make you become very busy. I’m suddenly realizing that I don’t have time. I don’t even have time to read the newspaper which for those that know me well is unbelievable. In fact we have gotten too busy that the Friday before good Friday, I was shaken to the reality that my body couldn’t take it in anymore. My body forced me into a rest, which I must confess is one of the best things that have happened to me this year.

According to Richard Swenson, author and medical Doctor, if a patient has rheumatoid arthritis, in addition to important medications, two therapeutic measures are essential: activity and rest. Rheumatoid patients need daily activity or their joints will freeze up. But they also need well-defined times of rest or their joints will be destroyed. Our lives are similar to that of the rheumatoid patient. Activity and rest. Together. Balanced. Both important. Both of God. 

"To give the best take a rest" - Grace Achoki

MORE THAN INFORMATION WE NEED TRANSFORMATION

A coaching relationship is a transforming relationship. Jesus spent only three years with his twelve disciples and by the time He was leaving them, these ordinary men, unschooled people, crude fishermen became world changers. They turned their world upside down. It takes a transformed people to transform our world.

There are many people in our churches that are warming the pews kind of like the substitutes in a football match, watching a few superstars performing some theatrics on the pitch instead of them being on the fields themselves changing their world. There is nothing really wrong with these people sitting in our pews. I think on the contrary there is everything wrong with those of us on the pulpit. Is our preaching and teaching bringing any transformation to our pews?

If the answer to the above question was yes, then our Nation would have been turned upside down. We have people with a lot of knowledge, Bible knowledge, and great discipline. But transformation does not begin with knowledge or even discipline, it starts with desire. Coaching is a new way to work at change that is designed around motivation, not instruction. Coaching starts with what you want to change based on what God is doing in you, and the whole process is arranged to maximize your motivation – because if you are really motivated you will really change.

Paul Jeong, head of Natural Church Development in Korea who has trained thousands of Christian Leaders, has this to say,

 “ I believe coaching produces more transformation than teaching and consulting. Here’s my reality. I’ve taught more than 40,000 Pastors and Leaders in the last five years. I believe that less than 10% of them experienced change. One year later, maybe 1 to 3 % had experienced ongoing transformation. But through TLC coaching (which both my wife and I have also gone through), more than 90% of those I walk with are transformed.”

BECOMING GREAT DECISION MAKERS

As a Pastor I was always under pressure to give solutions, (I still find myself doing that), give advice, tell the people something that they need to do, give them answers. Our churches today are filled with people, bottle-fed baby Christians who are still taking milk, over dependence on leaders who keep telling them what to do, instead of them chewing on the meat of responsibility. 

Our objective as leaders should be like that of Paul in Hebrews 5:14; to raise up robust mature believers who have their senses exercised to discern good from evil. People who will be able to make decisions and take responsibility for the decisions they make. Many people want you as a Leader to make decisions for them and unfortunately many of us leaders have contributed to this by always doing it for them. This is an indicator that we don't believe in people, we don't trust that God is already at work in their lives and ours is to come alongside them and help them see it.

That is what coaching does. The Coaching approach is more interested in building capable responsible adults than in feeding people solutions to immediate problems. As a Coach I’m more interested in helping people become great decision makers than in helping them make a right decision. Coaching cuts the cord of over dependence and unleashes people to their full potential. Remember that the process is more important than the product. Coaches help you in the process so that you come out with the product yourself.

NEVER EXCHANGE YOUR ADVICE FOR THEIR RESPONSIBILITY

Last week we learned one valuable lesson in why you need to be coached. That is believing in people and believing that God is at work in their lives; thus coaching them to come up with a formula to solve their own problems. Letting them take ownership for their own solutions and not blaming you after advising them and things fail to go the way they expected and that is what will look at today.

 I will never forget one Sunday morning when as Pastors we were praying for people before the Sunday service and this young man who had been jobless for a long time came and asked me for advice on whether or not to take up a certain job he had been offered at a Bear distribution center. I was at a loss as to what to tell him. I knew that he had been jobless for a long time and was really in need of a job. On the other hand I could see that he was struggling with the idea of taking up that job based on his religious convictions. 

I prayed that God would give him the wisdom to make the right choice and refrained from giving him any advice. That was hard for me, I had to die to myself and trust that God would show this man what to do. That week on Tuesday, the young man called me and informed me that he had decided not to take up the job because his religious convictions would not allow him to do so. I breathed a sigh of relief and was happy for him. I sensed such a peace and joy, a sense of achievement in his heart as he relayed that information to me. 

What this person did was that they came up with the solution to their own problem. They thus took ownership of it as opposed to me giving them a solution.If I told him to take the job and latter on he realized that he was conflicted because of his convictions, he would have blamed me for it. If on the other hand I advised him not to, when things got hard for him financially he would have blamed me for his misfortunes. But I am glad he came up with that decision himself. 

From that day I discovered something that I later came to learn as very crucial in coaching, “Never exchange your advice for someone else responsibility.” Mine as a Coach was to help him by giving him a broader perspective of the issue at hand, asking him powerful questions that would help him think through the whole issue instead of telling him what to do. That is what a Coach is there for in your life.