Different isn't bad

Last week we begun looking at and understanding our differences as men and women. Its amazing that these diferences are what causes most of the major conflicts in marriage. Failure to understand our differences has led to turmoil in our relationships.

We must begin by realizing that first and foremost, it is God who made us this way. "God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him, male and female he created them." (Genesis 1:27). Both male and female make the image of God and that is why understanding our differences is vital. It has been said that men need to feel respected while women need to feel loved. Well that is partly true because women also need to be respected. In fact many a times in my counselling experience, many women have complained of not feeling respected by the way their spouses treat them. As a matter of fact Peter in 1 Peter 3:7 states that husbands should treat their wives with respect as the weaker partner.

Yes women too want to be respected as men want to be loved, the difference being that, men want to be treated with respect for them to feel loved as women on the other hand need to be treated in a loving way for them to feel respected. Thus both need love and respect. Women need to know that the way they can truely love their man is to treat them with respect. When a man is treated with respect, he will do anything for his woman. Men on the other hand need to know that by not treating their woman in a loving way (cherishing her, serving her, being courteous to her) they are being disrespectful to them. They are not honoring her as they promised to do on their wedding day as they made their vows to her. But if the men will treat their woman in a loving way, she will feel respected and in turn will respect their man and do anything for him. Wow this is what I call the valentine cycle. The opposite of this is the viscious cycle which many a couple have found themselves in where we are selfish and lack understanding of our differences thus trying to love our partner the way we want to be loved without considering how they feel loved and respected.

Isn't it amazing how men and women feel loved and respected. So the next time he complains about not feeling loved, check how you are treating him. Are you treating him with respect or are you treating him with contempt because of what he did or didn't do. And you O man, when she complains of you not respecting or honoring her, check if you are treating her in a loving way. Let us love and respect each other.